the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
