so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
