Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
