I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
