do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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