i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
