I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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