Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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