she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
