HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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