We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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