Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
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what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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