They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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