awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
