I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
