I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
