Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
