Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
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