I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
