I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
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He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
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You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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