i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
