You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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