All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
There are leaves in my underwear?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize