Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
