He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
