Are we in a gay sports bar?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
As shirtless as possible
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
