I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
