Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
