Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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