You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Fuck appropriateness.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
