he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
