Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
