shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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