I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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