It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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