bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize