mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
