man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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