The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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