I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
