It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
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Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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