it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
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He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
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"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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