I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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