The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
