I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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