she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
