Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
