Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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