My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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