I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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