Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
