Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
