i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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