duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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