Cold hands, warm shart.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
